We often regret having prolonged the game (to the private glee, we feel, of a few players who led us on). It would have been better, we always realize too late, to have left too early. If we had left earlier, we would have then been tormented by the question of whether we should have stayed, but having lost too much right now is definitely worse, with the last hour having been a grueling experience. What s worse, we can t really say why we have stayed too long and so we are likely to repeat the same mistake when next time we inevitably show up at the table.
What is missing in the above scenario is a critical analysis of the situation based on logic, not a hunch. When thinking logically about time, like say, it s time to pick up your kid from preschool, or your spouse from the airport, you must of course leave immediately when the time has come. If you are at the table and the hoped for jackpot is just around the corner so you miss important dates and responsibilities, you are in trouble my friend. The longer you avoid responsibility and remain at the table, the worse your play will be because you know you are expected elsewhere and that burdens your mind and may well ruin your life.
Poker should be undertaken for amusement, not self flagellation. If you are not having fun, leave the game, before your play and your psyche both suffer. Some players begin by taking up poker for R & R, only to find themselves overwhelmed by the game, yet are glued to their chair for some unknown reason. They are overcome by some obsession to stay the course, unwilling to leave as a loser, but continue to lose and suffer. The well balanced player will chalk the loss up to experience, maintain their good humor and leave the game, knowing that it isn t always like this.
The first step in understanding this type of behavior is to realize that the problem does not lie in the game of poker itself. It lies in you and your persistence in continuing to play and to lose at an amusement that is pointless and unproductive and at which you are not having fun. This is avoidance and self delusion at its finest, having no connection with poker.
This behavior is undoubtedly manifesting itself in other aspects of your life as well. You must refocus to help you uncover the source of your problem. Don t waste any more time wondering dumbly why you have once again overstayed your playing time by that murderous extra hour and try to concentrate on envisioning yourself in your other day to day activities. This may allow you the insight to discover incidences totally unrelated to your poker game where your behavior is the same.
The problem may lie in not facing the fact that you hate your job, or owning up to a real feeling of grief that you have suppressed for a long time. If you are able to make a connection, you may be able to stop kicking yourself and enjoy the reality of life and of poker.
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